NEW TOY: EXCITEMENT AND PAIN

Well, yesterday I finally got my lazy allergy plagued butt to the gym to try out my new toy! Sundays also happen to be my favorite day to do legs. I have more time to actually workout and with football season in full swing the gym is normally pretty slow. My gym also gets the NFL package, doing cardio ain’t half bad!

Pre gym pic with The Little Green Monster!

It was a pretty good sweaty session as leg days normally as. Anyone else feel like they have worked hard enough unless they're dripping in sweat? I hope its not just me! It was really interesting to see my heart-rate fluctuations and the calories count increasing. Normally, while do cardio I glance at the calories counters but since I don't actually input any of my personal info I don't take it serious. Now I really know not to pay any mind! Way off! I need to do some research on what a good heart-rate is for me personally. The rang my Polar watch was giving me seemed on the low end and broad.

Was not expecting the numbers I got!

I also noticed I worked extra hard yesterday. Maybe I was trying to impress my new toy? Who knows but I might be in love with an inanimate object!

Of course, I am feeling it today!! The stairs are not my friend today. My hip are all kinds of tight! Though really that's nothing new. My hips are always super tight. You would think someone with hips as wide as mine they wouldn't be such bitoches. My hamstrings are not too happy that I threw in some leg curls yesterday. Ouchies all around!

I'm spending my night catching up on my Sunday night shows (Homeland, The Walking Dead, and Masters of Sex) and foam rolling, stretching, and more foam rolling. I also found this video on the all mighty YouTube for stretching out my hammies. Luckily no one saw me doing it, that would have been embarrassing, but it really did help. Some ibuprofen probably helped too.

You don't have a giant Ketchup in your living room? Sorry bro

Random question: Anyone else crave all the salt the day after a hard workout? I seriously had some ramen for dinner. It's like I'm a college freshmen again.

IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS!

Not only did I wake up to it snowing (it stopped by lunch time) but my new toy arrived!! 

Yaaaay! Super excited to try this bad boy out! 

But first I have to finish cleaning the house, clean myself, do some grocery shopping and a couple other things. I woke up today in the mood to do two things: clean and bake. I'm about 3/4 of the way through with my goal. 

Pumpkin Bread for allll!! My house currently smells amazing. And this tastes amazing! Be jealous ;)

DEEP BREATH

Work has me so stressed out and I'm not even there this week. The company I work for is so unorganized. I've been planning to take this week off for well over a month and found out yesterday (while on vacation) that I don't actually have vacation hours? Ugh its a mess and now I'm five kinds of stressed out. Being a grown is the pits. I'm trying to stay positive and not completely freak out, but man, is it hard! I might have to make some very stern and firm phone calls today and I am not looking forward to it.

What I wouldn't give to be 19 and not really have to worry about working and paying bills. Can I go back in time for a redo? No? Oh well.

I'm feeling a million times better today, thank you NyQuil! I'm thinking I finally kicked this bug I had. The gym is on the list for today and I am so excited! I need a good sweat session to shrug off all this crap that's causing all this stress. I really want to go look at some new running shoes, but I don't want to fall in love with a pair and then not be able to buy them. I've got to save my pennies in case my future paychecks are nonexistent. Look at me planning ahead and trying to be responsible! My dad would be so proud!!

I've also been looking into 5Ks coming up in November. I really want to do a Turkey Trot this year! Nothing better than running a 5K before going to grub on all the carbs! I've always been nervous about signing up for races once summer is over. Colorado has some crazy weather! It could be 70s one day during the winter and then -3 the next day. Hell, there were snowflakes just the other day. But I need something to focus on and to keep me motivated. Even if I'm out there running in my winter coat I'm gonna do it!

Well, I should be getting some gym clothes on a making my way to the treadmill before I get too comfy. Thinking today might be a good day to make some pumpkin bread as well. Nothing better than something baking in the oven filling the house with all the smells.

SICK

I'm sick.

Really, I shouldn't be all that surprised. I started feeling crummy last wednesday. I really hope it was just me being tired and not getting enough sleep, but I was wrong. WRONG! Any plans of actually enjoying the rest of my week off (I'm on vacation) are now in the toilet. I spent yesterday in bed watching way too many movies and youtube videos. It was fun for like twelve hours but now i'm just bored.

Walking to the mailbox this morning worn me out. Ugh! I suck at relaxing and just taking it easy. Right now I'm thinking about all the things I would be doing if I were healthy enough to stand up for longer than ten minutes. So many things, so many things I wish I could be doing!! Even cleaning my room sounds like fun. Instead I did a little online shopping!

Super excited to finally have a Polar watch of my own! I got it in green since I'm not a pink girl and purple doesn't seem to be an option. It should be here friday, so lets hope I feel well enough to use it.

And now I'm tired. Going to set up shop on the couch and clean out the DVR and nap. Naps for everyone!

DEAD

I might have died over the weekend. And if I'm 100% honest with myself, I might still be little dead. I wish I could say its from a crazy intense workout but sadly that is not the case.

I turned 30 on Friday.

There was fries and cake, arcade games, some tears, eggs, and a whole bunch of adult beverages. To say I haven't drank like that in forever would be an understatement. I haven't drank like a 20 year old college student in years, I've moved on to the super classy red wines! I'm a freaking grown up!

Boy, was this grown up feeling it the next day! All day long. I can't hang with the kids anymore. I don't know how I was able to function after a night of drinking before. I was hung over till I woke up sunday morning! I will not be drinking like that for a very long time. Long Long Long TIME.

So now I'm 30. What am I supposed to do now? Get married and have some kids? Probably, but somehow I doubt any of that will be happening anytime soon. Why is turning 30 such a freak out moment?

I gave myself the day off from the gym and eating clean. I needed carbs and a nap. I might still be feeling the weekend or it could be the current change of season. My swollen tonsils and I took a much needed nap today. I'll jump back on the healthy, ass kicking bandwagon tomorrow. Besides, I'll be looking at some new running shoes this week! Let's hope my wonky right foot makes it possible to get some actual cute shoes!

Now excuse me while I go catch up on The Walking Dead.

ZOMBIE

I am beyond tired.

Every single part of me is exhausted. I haven't been sleeping so great this week. It's annoying since I get tired and go to bed and than I'm up for hours. Just staring at the ceiling. Combine that with waking up by 530am every morning is no good.

I need like 12 hours of sleep. In a row, uninterrupted. I can not wait for the weekend.

My right calf is doing this painful tightness thing it does. I know I need newrunning shoes. Hopefully before the end of the month I'll be the owner of a new pair. I'm kinda nervous to get a new pair and get refitted. I run hella funny on my right side. To the point were it was suggested I could wear two different shoes (I think the sales lady was joking?)  My left side it just fine.

Besides I'm going to need new shoes if I plan on running a 5K Thanksgiving morning. Oh yea, I'm planning on doing that. More later.

I'm getting even more loopy and it's not even 8pm yet. I'm gonna put on a movie and crossing my fingers I pass out here quick.

THIS GIRL

This girl wanted nothing more than to come home from work and sit her booty on the coach for hours.

This girl wanted to be super lazy.

This girl almost wanted to do the dishes and clean the house instead of going to the gym.

That's how exercise lazy I was feeling.

BUT...but...but!

I knew better. I knew I would feel a million times better if I got my booty in motion.

So I came home, watched some Youtube for about 20 mins, drank a glorious Starbucks Refreshers drink, changed and was actually feeling motivated and so less lazy!

these bad boys are my current favorite afternoon pick up. Yummy!

The gym was already busy by the time I got there, it was about 4pm by than, but lucky for me there were plenty of treadmills just waiting! I get done with my first mile and are just getting ready for start my sprints when the treadmill stops not once, but three times in the span of 6 minutes. Oh, I counted. I move treadmills even though doing so threw off my times and just left me feeling off. I am a creature of habit and routine! I'm back, fully in my groove, I'm just about done, when what do I start to smell? Burning rubber. Awesome this machine is about to exploded all over me. Sweetness all around!! At this point I just want to be done smell or no smell. I finished, but I'm pretty sure I got a little high off the fumes. I think it might have help the rest of my workout.

Locker room selfies- that's what happens when you get high off fumes!

Now I set at my desk, showered, full from dinner, with the slight tinglings of the future soreness I'll be feeling in the morning, happy and content. I knew this feeling was just waiting for me to put the work in. It's always so hard to get the motivation to get going but once I do I always feel like a million bucks. Why can't I remember this moment more often?

THE PLAN

So how am I planning on getting back into the swing of things? 'Things' being eating right and working out to a smaller me. As someone who likes to plan and organize I'm just not jumping back into this willy nilly. I got some plans, yo!

1. Eat Cleaner Foods, Less Carbs.

I love carbs and I love all the snacky junks foods that provided no nutritional value. I have got to cut waaay back on all the crap and make better choices. Whole grains instead of white, sweet potatoes instead of white ones, all the fruits and veggies. Its as simple as that. I will allow myself treats here and there, a cheat meal on special occasions. My biggest problem is having one little treat and than not going and eating all of the crappy but delicious things.

2. Keeping Track of What I'm Eating.

Yay for smartphones and their fun apps! I would totally give some of my initial success to the app Lose It! I can scan the barcode of anything I'm eating and even add recipes for when I cook up something yummy at home. You can even plug in your workouts to get a general idea of how many calories you've burned. There's even an option to plug in your weightloss goal, height and weight and it gives you an estimate of how many calories you should have and when that goal should be met. Estimate being the key word. I use it as a guideline, not the end all be all. Keeping track of everything I put in my mouth is a little time consuming but the accountability is need for me otherwise I'd be snacking all day. Its clear I need more structure in my life as far as food goes.

3. Work, Work, Work it out!

There's no doubt about it. Gotta hit the gym/go for runs/get bendy at yoga class. Right now my goal is to do some sort of physical activity three times a week and yoga at least once every other week. I would like to get more outdoor runs under my belt, but I live in Colorado and winter is right there waiting to hit. So as of now I'm planning more around going to the gym three days a week.

• Day One: Backs and Biceps. Treadmill run of 45 mins with 10 min StairMaster and 10 min cool down power walk after lifting
• Day Two: Chest and Triceps. Same cardio and B&B day
• Day Three: Legs and Shoulders. Treadmill run of 35 mins with 15 min cool down power walk after lifting
  (I do a little bit of abs every time)

  
  

Doesn't really matter what order I do these days just as long as I do all three every week.

4. Drink All the Water

I used to drink over three liters a day or three giant Smartwaters a day. I can tell when I'm dehydrated, it messes with my whole day. I'm sluggish, get headaches, and just don't want to do anything but lay down in front of the TV. Easiest way to fix it is to drink my weight in H2O and get used to spending more time in the bathroom.

The biggest thing I need to remember and pay attention to is not getting so down on myself if something doesn't go exactly to plan. There will be days I don't sleep well and can barely stay awake to drive home much less go to the gym that evening. There will be times I'll be out of town or going out to eat with friends. Skipping a work out here and there is not the end up the world. Skipping a whole week? Not so good. I have a life, a job, and a million other responsibilities I need to take care of but I also need to take care of myself.

Also keeping my expectations in the world of reality are a must. I'm not going to just wake up over night and drop a bunch of weight. I need to be happy and content with a couple pounds here, or a couple of inches lost there. Besides muscles don't grow on trees, I gotta earn those Jillian Michaels biceps!!

STARTING OVER, AGAIN

Only a few years ago I was overweight and extremely depressed. I was drowning my feelings in cheap college bar drinks and junk food all day everyday. My 5’10” frame was carrying around nearly 250lbs. Clothes didn't seem to fit and honestly I didn't even want to look at clothes from fear of what size I was at. I felt like a giant bump on a log. I had no motivation to do anything positive or productive.

I was unhappy. Simple as that.

But than three years ago I moved back home, into my mother’s house. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be to find a new job, any job really. It took three months before I finally interviewed for my current job. Over those three months I could have sat around, eating more feelings and feeling even more sorry for myself, but I didn’t. I made the choice to do something about it. 

My mother had bought a treadmill years before and it had been sitting in my old bedroom collecting dust. I dusted that bad boy off and started moving. Nothing crazy at first. ‘Running’ at any speed for more than a minute was hard. I started off simple. Walking briskly for 25 minutes, then I slowly moved up to 45 minutes (or the length of an episode of Grey’s). Than I started running the last .10 of a quarter mile, half a mile, a mile and so on. I even had some 5lb hand weights that I did a couple arm exercises with, and as many sit ups I could manage without passing out. Since I had nothing else going on I did this little routine just about every other day.

Since I was the one doing the household errands like buying the groceries, I started buying all the fruit I could get my hands on, veggies for salads and added meat (chicken and turkey) back into my life. I haven’t been a huge meat eater in years. Breakfast also became a staple in my day. You know how the magazines and fitness gurus always harp on you to eat breakfast? Do it. They know what they're talking about.

I dropped 30lbs over that following year. Than I found a yoga studio near by house that had heated classes and weren't pricey. I did my first yoga challenge (average 3 classes a week for 8 weeks) I was taking 2-4 classes every week!

I was hook on working out and get my jiggly self in shape. I didn't completely hate shopping for clothes, helps when you’re wearing 2 sizes smaller! Than I found out one of my good friends was getting married May 2012 and wanted me to be a bridesmaid! I was excited but oh so very nervous. I knew the other bridesmaids were all much shorter and much smaller than me. I didn't want to stand out as the giant! And than we ordered or dresses. I order a size 14 not wanting to play it safe and go with the bigger size. Around this time I was around 200lbs give or take. When that dressed arrived it didn't zip up the last couple of inches and I could not blame it on my ladies up top.

Now I had a clear and tangible goal. Fit in that damn dress!! I joined a gym. I meet with a trainer, learned my way around the free weights and cable machines. I had a plan in action. I had motivation! I was ready to take on the world and lose some pounds. I was even going to run a 5k! 

I did it! I got down to 194 (56lbs down!) and by the end of April (’12) that dress not only zipped up but I could spin it around my body. I was beyond happy! Yes, a good chunck of that happiness was from the number on the scale but another part was proud I stuck to my guns and completed my mission.

That happy ending didn't last all that long. Here I sit, October 6^th 2013, seventeen months after the wedding, unable to fit back into that dress and tipping the scales at 224. That’s 30lbs heavier than my lowest and only 26lb from my highest. My clothes are tight and I feel like a can of busted biscuits more days than not. Instead of letting myself slip down that slope of depression and self hatred, I'm more motivated than ever! I've been in the place before, I know what I need to do get back to a happy healthier weight, for me.

Eating right, not too much, but still often, drinking all the water of all the seas, working out and lifting heavy things, and stretching myself into a pretzel in a heated room. I know what I need to do and I am finally feeling that spark of motivation again. This isn’t a diet. I'll say that now. I still plan to enjoy all the lovely wonderful foods the world has to offer. Tasty food is awesome! If I want a cupcake, I’ll have a cupcake, just not all the cupcakes. I need to make the gym my best friend again. I've been a pretty shit BFF. I've slowly been getting myself back into the routine of work, hitting the gym, and still having a life. I need to perfect that balance again.

Since I don't have a dress to fit into this time around, it really was a great way to stay accountable, I figured I would share my journey with the interwebs. I'll admit, I'm scared out of my mind to share some big numbers with anyone who happens upon this little blog here. But I need this. I need a new version of that dress. I need that extra little kick in the pants. 

Oh and my 30^th birthday is less than a week away. Can we say freak out much??

So, hello there! Thank you for reading all that! I can be a bit long winded. It feels so good to get that all out! Welcome to my little corner of the internet. I’m so excited to start this journey! I’m about to over share all over this space, so let’s get to it!


<3 

Some visuals: